Chapter 2 - THE LETTER I KEPT

The emergency department smelled of antiseptic and coffee left too long on a warmer. At two in the morning, fluorescent light made my swollen eye look almost black. My left hand rested on a pillow while a nurse checked the dressing and a physician studied the images of my cheekbone. Nothing was fractured, but the bruising and cuts would take time to heal. I was given written instructions and a recommendation to see a hand specialist if the numbness along my thumb persisted.
Lily slept in a chair beside me under a blanket with tiny blue whales printed on it. She'd insisted on keeping the silver photograph in her lap. Alessandro waited outside the examination area with his attorney, because I had asked him to give us privacy. I didn't know yet whether I could forgive him. I didn't even know what exactly he needed forgiving for. Those were two different problems, and I wanted the chance to separate them.
A woman wearing flat shoes and a dark-green coat introduced herself as Talia Cruz. She was a family-law attorney, and she had made it clear before arriving that Alessandro was her client. “You need independent advice,” she told me. “I can give you the number of someone who doesn't represent him.”
I felt embarrassed about the cost before I could stop myself. “I have forty-six dollars until Friday.”
“There's an emergency family-law clinic that provides representation based on income,” she said. “I'll help you get connected. You should not sign any paper tonight, including anything Alessandro offers.”
She could have spoken down to me. Instead she slid a card across the counter and waited while I put it into my purse. There was something unexpectedly restful about being told I could slow down.
When Lily woke, she asked for a banana and wanted to know why her photograph was important. I told her it reminded me of a happy day by the river. That was enough for her. She ate half the banana and saved the rest for her stuffed rabbit, who, she announced, was hungry too.
Alessandro had arranged a wheelchair-accessible van to take us away from the hospital. He didn't insist we return to the estate. Mrs. Greer had contacted a small apartment belonging to her sister, who was away visiting family. It had a kitchen, two bedrooms, and a lock Isabella did not have a key to. Talia said we'd arrange for our own legal advice there. I accepted because I could think of no safer place for Lily before dawn.
As the van traveled along a sleeping avenue, Alessandro sat opposite us. The chair's wheels were secured, and a lap belt crossed his suit. He looked exhausted. Under the passing streetlights, I could see the shallow scar along his jaw from the accident. I had watched him return to work after seven months of surgery and rehabilitation, learning the changes to his body and refusing to let strangers speak about him as though he weren't in the room. I had admired his determination from behind a serving tray. I hadn't imagined I'd ever be discussing the beginning of our daughter's life with him again.
“Do you remember the restaurant?” he asked softly.
I glanced at the silver photograph. “Of course.”
“The waiter spilled water on my cuff. You said I had more money than sense because I asked if I could buy the entire tablecloth.”
“You were being ridiculous.”
“I was trying to make you laugh.”
“I know.” My voice cracked. “That's what made it harder.”
Four years earlier, Alessandro hadn't been engaged to Isabella. I had recently begun working on the estate's housekeeping team, and he had been overseeing renovations after inheriting the property from an uncle. We began talking when I caught him trying to fix a broken kitchen drawer with a butter knife. He asked how to do it properly. I showed him. He came back the following day with a screwdriver and a thank-you pastry. A month later, after I'd transferred to a guest-services position so he was no longer my direct supervisor, he invited me to dinner. I told him he couldn't treat an employee's livelihood like a romance novel. He said he understood and asked whether I'd prefer he never mention it again. I said no. Then I kissed him in the service garden where we thought no one could see.
For six months we were happy and badly matched to the worlds surrounding us. He traveled constantly. I spent every weekend helping my mother recover from a stroke. His father, Carlo Moretti, wanted him to marry into a family with political connections. My mother wanted me to have a life in which a bad month wouldn't threaten the rent. Alessandro and I kept telling each other we'd figure it out. We meant it. We were also too young in some ways to recognize how easily other people could pull us apart.
The break came after a charity reception. Carlo summoned me to his study and explained that Alessandro had made a mistake. He offered a check; I refused. Two days later I learned I was pregnant. I wrote Alessandro a letter and brought it to the estate's private mail desk. His executive assistant, Silvio Serra, assured me it would be delivered.
No reply came. I wrote again. Then a third time, with a copy of the ultrasound image tucked inside. Two weeks later, an envelope arrived at my apartment on Moretti stationery. It said our relationship had been a lapse of judgment. It said if I claimed the pregnancy was his, the company would defend its reputation. It instructed me not to contact him again. The signature was his name, copied in sharp black ink.
“I kept it,” I said now, watching the city slide past. “I thought I'd need it one day to explain why Lily's father wasn't there.”
Alessandro pressed his lips together. “I never received those letters. Silvio told me you'd resigned from the guest-services office and asked not to be contacted. He showed me a signed note.”
“I didn't resign. Mrs. Greer moved me back to housekeeping when the department was reorganized.”
“I asked Silvio to send you a message offering to talk. He told me you'd returned it unopened.”
I looked away. Anger rose slowly through my shock. “You could have come downstairs. You knew where I worked.”
“Yes,” he said. “I could have.”
He did not offer an excuse. Somehow that hurt and helped at the same time. He'd believed the convenient version because it made a painful situation simpler. I'd believed the cruel version because the envelope existed and I was frightened. Those choices hadn't been equal in their consequences. Lily had spent her first three years without knowing him.
At the apartment, Mrs. Greer's sister had left a loaf of bread, milk, and three clementines on the counter. Lily took possession of a little bedroom with yellow curtains and insisted her rabbit needed a window seat. While she arranged the blankets, Talia spoke with me by phone again. She explained that Isabella's document had no power to transfer custody on its own. However, anyone could make allegations to authorities, and a forged or misleading petition could create an emergency we would need to address promptly. We should preserve the envelope, take photographs of my injuries, write down exact statements, and avoid informal negotiations with Isabella.
When Lily was asleep, I retrieved a dented biscuit tin from my work bag. I'd kept it locked at the back of my wardrobe for years. Inside were her first hospital bracelet, a little pink sock, two birthday cards, and the Moretti envelope. My hands shook as I brought it to the kitchen. Alessandro remained by the door, giving me room to decide whether to show it to him.
“Read it,” I said at last.
He unfolded the paper carefully. I watched his eyes move down the lines. When he came to the signature, he paused.
“It's close,” he said. “But I never sign my name with the second loop on the M.”
“That was your first reaction?” I asked. “Not the words?”
“The words are monstrous.” His voice was rough. “And I know I didn't write them. But I want a way to prove it that doesn't depend on you trusting me.”
That answer was more useful than an apology, although I needed one of those too. I let him photograph the letter while I kept the original. Talia would arrange an independent examination. The envelope's postal mark was from a sorting center near the Romano family offices, not the Moretti estate. I had never noticed. Back then I'd stared at the signature until I could barely breathe.
“Carlo knew,” I said. “Your father told me to go away.”
Alessandro shut his eyes for a moment. “He'd interfered in my life before. I thought he'd finally stopped.”
I made tea because my hands needed something to do. We sat at opposite ends of the table while the kettle ticked as it cooled. He asked what Lily liked, and I told him she loved buses, hated peas unless they were hidden in mashed potatoes, and cried when a story ended without saying goodnight to the moon. He listened the way someone listens to instructions for a fragile, precious machine, and I had to stop myself from resenting how easily the ordinary details moved him.
“I'm going to request a legal paternity test,” he said. “If you're willing. Through a provider you choose. No shortcuts.”
“Lily isn't an asset you can establish ownership of.”
“I know.” He looked directly at me. “I want to be accountable to her, not own her.”
I studied him for a long time. I believed the sentiment. I did not yet believe his household would protect it.
My phone buzzed. An unfamiliar number had sent a photograph. In the image, Lily was being lifted into my arms at a playground six months earlier. Somebody had taken it from behind a fence. Underneath were six words: WE HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU BOTH.
I showed Alessandro. He read it without moving.
Then a second message arrived. This one held a scanned application for temporary guardianship. On the first page, beneath my printed name, was a signature that looked disturbingly like mine.
I stared at it, sick with recognition. It wasn't my signature. But it had been built from the curve of my R and the short way I wrote the final s. Whoever prepared the document had studied my handwriting closely enough to imitate it.
May you like
And on the next page, in the section for the child's father, someone had typed a single chilling word.
UNKNOWN.